The dress(es)
January 18 • 2012
We have been following Brooklyn graphic designer and handmade talent Jen Pepper as she settles into life in Maine and plans her coastal New England wedding.
The search for the perfect wedding dress is exhausting. I accumulated a sky scraping stack of dog-eared magazines next to the couch, and still didn’t see anything that felt particularly “me.” Of course the obvious next step would be to make an appointment at a lovely bridal shop and let the experts help me find something amazing, but after watching too many marathons of “Say Yes! to The Dress” that felt like a very daunting idea. Instead I turned to my go to shopping site, etsy.com.
I fell in love with the idea of buying a handmade wedding dress. Thinking about the love I put into my work, I couldn’t help but imagine the amount of love sweat and tears that someone would be putting into my gown. Of course the obvious downside to buying a dress on etsy, or really anywhere online, is that you do not get to try on the dress before you buy it. This can be a scary decision to a lot of brides, but for me I just decided to go for it!
After favoring a few designs, and showing some ideas to friends I decided on a beautiful peach tulle ball-gown. I sent off a quick email to the designer and asked if she would be willing to make a few changes to the dress and a few days later I put down a deposit on a custom made wedding frock! Monique was so sweet and answered all my questions, set up a time frame for sending her my measurements, dress production and even sent me some fabric swatches in the mail to add to my poorly kept wedding binder. The dress hunt was over, and pain free. Or so I thought!
Right before Christmas the fear of the unknown started setting in. What if I got the dress and hated it? What if it made me look like an overripe Georgia Peach? What if I hated the way I looked on my wedding day? It wasn’t that I didn’t Love the dress, I just didn’t know if I was going to love the way I looked in it. So I decided to bite the bullet and try on some dresses in person.
I ended up bringing Matt to my first appointment because I knew that he would be able to keep me calm and talk me out of making any rash decisions. They put us in a large private room, listened to what I thought I wanted in a dress and then disappeared behind a big curtain to pull out some dresses for me to try on. When our lovely bridal consultant returned to the room I turned to Matt and made a face that I can only describe as my, “none of theses dresses are what I am looking for at all” face. Sequins, beading, big puffy skirts were surrounding me, but because I was there I decided to try them on! The first number was kinda cute, but just didn’t feel right, and was way too much dress for me, after all we are getting married on a schooner so I was hoping for something easy breezy. Because our wedding was only 6 months away, there was a lot of pressure from the consultants to make a decision on a dress as soon as possible. Unless there was something on the rack that fit me, it would take almost 5 months to order a dress, and then there was still the matter of fittings and alterations.
After trying on a few dresses and narrowing them down similar to an eye test, 1 or 2, better or worse, I stepped into a dress that actually made me look pretty. It was simple, asymmetrical, light weight and best of all it fit me. Really the only downside of this gown was that it wasn’t what I came in to buy. It was essentially strapless, which was exactly what I didn’t want. I just couldn’t make up my mind so I put on my street clothes and was ready to go home and sleep on it. I thought, maybe my dream dress doesn’t exist, maybe I am not the kind of bride that has a magical moment filled with tears and champagne, maybe it’s enough to just really like a dress that fits and flatters and can come home with me today. I took a chance and asked if there was a way to get a discount on the dress since I was buying what was essentially a sample and I would take it with me right now. After a quick chat with a manager and signing a waiver that I was buying the dress as-is I walked out of there with my wedding dress at a pretty decent discount.
Even though I didn’t have an bridal moment in the store, I do have one every time I look in the closet. Whenever I am feeling a little overwhelmed by all of this planning, I can just open up the closet and look at that big fancy white bag that holds the dress I am going to wear on my wedding day. Well maybe, I might end up in the peach one after all!
Previous posts in this series:
How to find a wedding venue without leaving the couch
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20/01/2012 at 6:12 pm Permalink
Jen, it’s so funny that you posted this this week! I actually had your post open in a tab (poised to read) while chatting with my friend about ordering a dress through someone on etsy! And then I finally get to reading your post and that’s what it’s about!
I’ve been quite indecisive when it comes to my wedding dress…I won’t get into the gory details, but earlier this week one of my friends suggested I check out etsy (a site I LOVE) to find a dress designer who could make exactly what I wanted at a reasonable cost. The idea is that it would allow me to avoid a factory-made dress (for environmental and social reasons). I live in NJ and was lucky enough to find a dress designer who is local and works out of her home. And the best part is the price she quoted me for my custom dream dress is LESS than the sample dress I put a deposit on.
Anyway, you’re not alone in second-guessing your wedding dress decisions! I wanted to be nonchalant about the whole thing and in doing so, I think I made it into a bigger ordeal than it would have been if I’d treated it as an important process in the first place.
Both dresses sound beautiful, by the way!!
25/01/2012 at 10:30 am Permalink
Hey Abby-
What a funny coincidence! Thanks so much for sharing your dress buying experience with all of us! I’m sure your dress will turn out amazing and it’s so amazing to be part of the process and know your dress is made with love!