Love and Lobster Coastal New England Weddings

How long do guests have to give a gift? Is it kosher to ask for money? What if it’s not the couple’s first trip down the aisle? Here are some answers to gift-giving FAQs:

Do guests have up to a year to send a gift?

Technically, the rule of thumb is yes, but six months is generally more accepted. In other words, send the toaster or monogrammed towels before the newlyweds have finished mailing out their thank you cards.

How much should be spent on a wedding gift?

First remember that wedding gifts are customary, but not mandatory. The gift-giver’s budget determines the price, but a rough guideline is $50 to $250, depending on the giver’s relationship to the couple (the lavishness of the event should play no role). For destination weddings where guests are footing the bill for travel expenses, it’s acceptable to cut back on the gift amount.

Should invitees who can’t make the wedding still send a gift?

Yes, the gift is meant to commemorate the couple’s happy occasion, regardless of whether the invitee attends the festivities.

Are cash gifts acceptable?

Yes, and they’re often welcomed. Rather than handing an envelope to the bride or groom, look for the best man or someone else whom the couple has designated to collect gifts of money.

Can I bring the gift to the wedding?

Avoid it, especially if you’re toting something unwieldy, like a 7 lb. Kitchenaid mixer or expansive wall hanging. Rather than force couples to collect and haul gifts home, ship your item to them directly a few weeks before the wedding.

Do the same rules of etiquette apply for second (or third or fourth) marriages?

Gifts for first-time brides are standard, even if her husband-to-be has been hitched before. They’re customary, but not required, for second and subsequent marriages.