Love and Lobster Coastal New England Weddings

We have been following Brooklyn graphic designer and handmade talent Jen Pepper as she settles into life in Maine and plans her coastal New England wedding.

As you read this, I may still be procrastinating. Truth be told, I am super nervous and dreading making the wrong decision. You might be thinking to yourself…”Yay! It’s the dress post. Poor Jen is concerned about choosing the wrong style!” Oh how I wish that was what I was dragging my feet on, I actually put down a deposit on a dress already (future post I promise!). I am unbelievably scared to design our wedding invitations.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a professional creative. I have worked at advertising agencies, design firms and even designed wedding invitations for other brides. Which makes the process of designing my own wedding stationery, frankly, nerve wracking. There is this unspoken expectation that my paper goods are going to be amazing, unique and super cool. I just don’t want to let anyone down, including myself.

Working with a client on a new design can sometimes be stressful, you have to take their vision and turn it into something tangible. When they see the first round of designs, you have to use your design-dictionary and translate their remarks into a better more fantastic piece of work. But what happens when the client has too many ideas and no one is there to rein in the crazy ones and make sure everything is cohesive and cool? Heck, it took me three round of inspiration boards before I nailed down our color palette.

I have thought about incorporating a ship in a bottle or laser-cut wood cards to make our invitations really wow our guests. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, that even though I really care about the excitement of our printed paper goods and the mood they create for our wedding, our parents and guests will just be thrilled that we are getting married and we invited them to share in our celebration!

As much as I am excited about about the possibility of having our formal invitation made into a 4-color screen print, or beautifully letterpressed, it’s not about the big production, its about the love between myself and Matt. Now don’t get me wrong, our invitations will still have all the heart and great design that I always put into my work, but the end result doesn’t have to be as scary as I first thought. After all, everyone is on our side.

Previous posts in this series:

I’m engaged. Now what?

Decisions, decisions

How to find a wedding venue without leaving the couch

Finding a wedding venue that won’t break the bank

The wedding guest list

Let’s get organized

Wedding weight loss

Finding what’s right for you

Setting the table

Clockwise from top center: Lindsay Flanagan Photography, Abby Jiu, Danielle Fletcher, Orange Girl Photographs, Project Wedding, Simply Bloom Photography, Cameron + Kelly Studios, Sara Gray Photography

Last week, we gave you a little taste of “tangerine tango,” the color the pigment pros at Pantone predict we’ll see everywhere in 2012.

Curious what’s so special about this reddish orange hue with the Latin-sounding name? After honeysuckle emboldened us to “face everyday troubles with verve and vigor” in 2011, tangerine tango will thrust us through the next 365 days with spirit and attention-grabbing energy, Pantone says. “Reminiscent of the radiant shadings of a sunset, Tangerine Tango marries the vivaciousness and adrenaline rush of red with the friendliness and warmth of yellow, to form a high-visibility, magnetic hue that emanates heat and energy.”

Tangerine tango combines autumnal notes with an exotic kick, making for a lively but nonthreatening shade that’s already popping up in fashion and cosmetics. Tommy Hilfiger, Nanette Lepore, Elie Tahari and other designers are incorporating the color into their spring collections.

Tangerine tango is also adding a hit of orangey drama to wedding apparel and décor. Again this year, special occasion apparel retailer Dessy is offering bridesmaid and flower girl dresses in tangerine tango, among more than 200 other Pantone colors. Check out this full-length strapless gown or this fun cocktail-length satin dress in the hue.

You can even browse complementary colors and order mini color swatches in your wedding colors to share with friends, family and vendors. So instead of telling your wedding planner to design around “tangerine tango,” you can whip out a swatch to show her precisely what color you mean. Otherwise, she might be left imagining citrus fruits and sultry Argentine dancers.

Groomsmen, we know you’re honored to take part in your buddy’s big day. Your list of to-dos no doubt includes planning the bachelor party, standing next to your friend at the ceremony, and maybe delivering a toast.

But do you also know what you’re NOT supposed to do? We don’t mean the obvious (i.e. hitting on the bride and swiping cash gifts) because we know you’re better than that. We’re talking about matters of decorum that will prevent you from becoming that guy everyone’s whispering about during the reception. In a bad way.

Just to be on the safe side, we’ll spell it out:

Don’t get drunk before the ceremony. This also includes the implied “Don’t get the groom drunk before the ceremony.” Sure, enjoy a beer or a few sips of whiskey to calm the nerves or to celebrate as you get dressed. But showing up to this momentous event with a buzz on is disrespectful, and will be noticed. The groom won’t thank you later if he has no memory of exchanging vows because you pressured him into tossing back a few Irish car bombs.

Don’t arrive unprepared to dress up. If we hadn’t seen a groomsman take his shirt out of the plastic package a mere moments before game time, we’d think this goes without saying. Make sure your clothing is ironed and presentable the night before. Learn how to fold that pocket square and tie your bowtie. Wear matching socks.

Don’t wear sunglasses. Yes, even if it’s a bright, sunny day. They look tacky in wedding photos, there are just no two ways about it. You can put those Ray Bans or Oakleys back on after the ceremony and portrait session. But please, don’t go all Corey Feldman and don them all night.

Don’t mention an ex during your toast. As in the groom’s, but probably not your own either. Plenty of brides will gamely smile their way through this faux pas, but others won’t, so save everyone the awkwardness and don’t bring her up at all. Your pal’s wedding day is about looking forward to the future, not dwelling in the past.

I openly admit that I’ve got some “opinions” about David’s Bridal, with its mass-market domination of the wedding gown industry. Walk in, take a number, assume your place on the bridal wear assembly line.

But I wound up at their Maine Mall store recently after an unsuccessful day of gown shopping in Portland. My fight-or-flight response, triggered by an unexpectedly crowded sample sale at a local bridal boutique, had just begun to subside as we walked in to David’s. It’s a strange atmosphere in there, a mingling of bridal boutique intimacy and big box efficiency that feels like two very different stores uncomfortably coexisting as one. Cheery receptionist who schedules your appointment with a personal attendant? Check. Weary employees navigating rows upon rows of gowns organized to appeal to the broadest range of size, style and budget? Also check.

A store manager whipped us through a breakneck orientation of the store’s layout, and left us to our own devices. I hadn’t managed to snag an appointment, but we wandered around in hopes that a slot would open up.

I had no intention of finding much I liked at David’s. I was more focused on salvaging our dress-shopping outing and figured it would be a good place to try on a variety of styles. My needs were surely too unique to be satisfied here, I thought. I’m not the kind of bride who would go for a trend-of-the-moment gown, whose vision of wedding day style could be accommodated by a chain store.

But as I browsed the aisles, a few gowns spoke to me from beneath those clear plastic garment bags, designed to minimize the evidence of countless other brides’ curious fingers. Huh, I thought, didn’t think I’d find so many ivory A-lines with delicate lace overlays here. I mean, that’s kinda my look, and I don’t recall asking David’s to stock it for me.

As I rounded the end of one aisle, a four-foot-tall poster grabbed my eye. A slim brunette model wore a white gown with long lace sleeves, overtly styled to look as much like Kate Middleton a la the Royal Wedding as possible without actually Photoshopping the princess’ face onto her. I cringed, thinking of all those women who would blindly mimic Kate’s style on their own wedding day, following her lead because all the bridal magazines told them to.

As I went to pull another gown from the racks, mere seconds later, I found myself again gravitating towards lace. I’d started envisioning lace, I realized, after seeing photos of Kate’s dress all over the media in the weeks after her wedding. And judging from all the lacy gowns David’s had in stock, I wasn’t the only one. I’d never connected the dots before.

I left David’s that day feeling a bit more humble than when I walked in. Many of the dresses they carried were beautiful and affordably priced. I didn’t end up buying one, but I realized I was in no position to judge any other gal who did.  I had thought my wedding dress would be unique, as one-of-a-kind as me, my groom-to-be and our life together. My subconscious had convinced me that if I bought a dress at David’s, it would mean my wedding was indistinguishable from all the other weddings David’s caters to every year. And that just couldn’t be.

Now I realize, on a more conscious level, that what will make my wedding unique has nothing to do with the dress. Sure, I want a gown I love and that feels perfect for the day, but if it’s also perfect for someone else’s day, so be it.

Read the previous posts in Jackie’s wedding planning series:

The proposal

Will you be my maid?

Clockwise from top center: Samantha Warren Weddings, Casa Moda, Stephanie Williams, One Wild Orange, Amy Atlas, Muse Studios, Aaron Shintaku, Jason Frank Rothenberg